It's taken me a while...

As I’m writing this, I acknowledge that I have SO much that I have to learn… but I also have so many questions.

I’ve fought against it for so long… resisted…

I could keep doing that… keep being angry…

But, that’s not the story I want to live…

God of all stories, Author and Finisher,

I don’t know my earthly end.

I just know I’m struggling with the middle.

Not just the parts I’m going through…

but the parts that others are going through…

Jesus… you made the way: yourself —

the way to life, the way to freedom,

the way to overcome hate and hardship in this world.

I fought you for so long… I didn’t want to accept the story you were writing.

And I’m still struggling with parts… chapters… and with the fact that I don’t know exactly where I’m going.

But, I have You. And, for me, it is enough. I need You to be enough.

I know myself, and I know I forget. I know I wander.

I know my tendency to want to take back control.

I don’t know the whole story. Only Your ending.

Help us survive the hard chapters.

Help us to keep surrendering the pen.

Because You, Lord, write a better story.