I struggle to believe/remember that I have a future.

I think it’s mostly due to the fact that my ideas of what makes a fulfilling and meaningful life and a hopeful future are still very ingrained with the idea that it looks like (x).

So, daring to dream or imagine something that looks different… or doesn’t have everything I want (or THOUGHT I wanted) still comes with a significant amount of fear and dread.

And the things in life that cause existential dread - health issues, political unrest, wars, being ostracized an unkind humanity…still remain.

I need to remember what “home” is.

I need to remember where home is.

That ‘Arrival’ doesn’t happen in this life, but in the next.

And…that’s just incredibly fucking hard to wait for.

Turning back around… going back to where I just was

would be a lie.

While comfortable… it’s clear that that place isn’t meant for me anymore.

It was never meant to be.

A life steeped in selfishness and temporal kingdoms that would be doomed to crumble in time.

That’s no life to live.

So, we wait… we walk the new path.

…we cling to the promises…

…and we keep working and keep serving.

Trying to help a world that is void of much hope.

We endure hardness… fighting the good fight.