Where is that our journey begins? At birth? At adulthood? At some kind of awakening? The milestones of life and coming of age certainly show signs that we're alive human beings, but they don't necessarily mean that we're living. And what does truly "living" mean to us?
It's a question that's been debated by philosophers, scientists, and mankind as a whole for millennia. And each person in every age will give us a different opinion and answer.
I think that our journey begins when we've found something to pursue...
For me growing up, I didn't know what that "something" was or was supposed to be. I had spent years trying to figure out who I was, what defined me, what my calling in life was...struggling with identity. I wanted to feel like I was doing something that was relevant. I wanted to be doing something that made me important to others. And that if I could find that "thing" that defined me I would have arrived at what would be "me" for the rest of my life. I was trying to fill a hole by searching for a feeling.
What I didn't realize or account for was a fact that I would not discover until later in life as I made the transition out of college and into "real" life. It was this:
Life isn't a straight shot on a track. It's a combination of both land and sea travel, a bumpy road with a million different branches and side roads, and an ocean full of unknown danger and unexplored waters that could lead into hurricanes and sea storms. And those feelings?...they change all the time...often several times a day.
"What is it that I'm walking toward?" I wondered. Was there a solid and unmovable point toward which I could run? Would I ever feel like I've arrived? It became a wearying pursuit as I considered various options and ideas in my head. I thought I was pursuing something...but my heart was still filled with unrest.
It's scary to walk life without a north star...a point of reference by which we can feel confident in being guided by. And we become very weary without a resting place or somewhere to call home.
For me, my journey began when I began to discover what I was made for. It was when I began to humble myself and realize that I didn't have all the answers, that my heart couldn't be filled by fleeting pursuits, and that I needed help from something...or someone...greater. That I was a lost and helpless case without God.
I haven't been perfect. It's been a lot of up and down, pain, learning, and humility as I've walked this road, but I can say now, that I have purpose, direction, and fullness of heart as I pursue and live in my relationship with God. It's not a religion, an awakening, or some mystical or emotional experience, but a real life changing knowledge, faith, and trust in a real and loving God and His purpose that has made me who I am today. He's real, He cares, and and He's working.
My desire now is to impact people in any way I can. I believe my calling is to interact with and reach out to the people around me in this broken and chaotic world. I want to use writing and photography in conjunction with just talking to people, sharing my thoughts and experiences, and pouring out on others as I learn from and about other people's journeys...no matter where they come from. I think that so much can be helped in just respectfully communicating with one another. I believe knowing accurately who God is can solve the problems. And if I can be a force for change in the world in that respect - to the end that people will be helped - I'll go the distance or die trying.
I know that life is bumpy, extremely painful, and uncertain at times. I know there are questions we all have. But I know we don't walk this road alone. There are fellow travelers all around us on this road...in this ocean...trying to navigate the woods, the waves, and the mist. Our journey isn't one that's meant to be walked alone, but in the company and community of others - of friends - equally broken people also seeking. If we walk together, we can make this journey a little easier.
What's your story? Talk to me about who you are. I want to learn about you.